A very blessed meeting

So this morning was the meeting with Lic. Karl Armstrong and Chris Drewe of West End Baptist. Steve, Katherine, Liz and I sat down to talk with them over what our definitive plans for partnering with them for the summer would look like, and the prognosis so far is very good. Right now, the plan goes as follows. We've decided upon 3 evenings where members of our team will teach interested congregants how to share the gospel effectively with coworkers, friends, and community members, and then the following weekend, the church will host a community barbeque where the people we trained can put their new skills into practice. We're also taking interested people out sharing with us, to get them acquainted with random evangelism and approaching members of the community. There is also a vacation bible school that they're interested in having us partner with, which I'm definitely interested in helping out with. What got me really excited, and I'm sure will excite other members of the team too, is the urban ministry that WEB is running currently, where people can come in off the street and grab grocery vouchers, sandwiches and other meals. Ideally, we'd help them take this further, and get more people involved from the community as well.

What was also cool was the way God totally paired us up according to need. WEB is currently looking for someone to lead summer worship, and wouldn't you know it, Liz has been appointed one of our Weekly/Worship leaders for the remainder of project, and would be thrilled to work with the church. As well, several of us students are planning to stay the entire month of August after the project ends (that includes myself) and will be needing a place to stay. Karl himself seems to have a house available for exactly that period of time... and there are many people that would likely offer their homes to us, by the sounds of it. It's really amazing to watch all of the pieces fall into place on this, and the more I see, the more I really would like to stay and watch this totally blossom for God. As I read through Corinthians, I empathize with Paul, who couldn't be with the church in Corinth but instead had to watch her growth from a distance after spending a fair bit of time there. It'll be hard to leave at the end of the summer (and hopefully things will go better than they did at Corinth!), and I'm praying sincerely that God'll direct me to where I'm meant to stay. If someone told me I could choose to go back to Toronto or stay in Halifax, no charge either way, I would choose Halifax without a second thought. I already feel connected to this place and the people here.

God's calling me to new levels of faithfulness every day, I'm just praying I can keep up...

Well, the weekend has come and gone, with all of it's beautiful weather. Sitting here during the early evening hours on Monday, the sight outside of Nicki and Veronika's window is pretty damp looking. I don't want to say dismal or dreary, though. We need the rain just as much as we need the sun, and everything is looking greener and brighter than ever now that the fog has lifted. Halifax weather, like Halifax life, is unpredictable at best, and is constantly changing. Just because it was sunny yesterday doesn't mean it'll be sunny tomorrow, and just because there's rain today doesn't mean there'll be rain tomorrow. Just make the most of the day you're given, is the lesson, I guess, and make the most of it with a good attitude to boot.

I'm still deciding how much I've made of today. I got a wicked sunburn after sitting in the sun for an hour and a half on Sunday sharing with a girl named Jen. Our conversation was really great, and I really felt like she was someone I could connect with and talk with further, so I got her contact information and hopefully we can meet up for coffee tomorrow or sometime this week. She's seeking hard for truth, I'd say, but even though she just finished a degree in comparative religious studies, she hasn't found any definitive answers. Therefore I'm even more excited to get to take part in her journey. Pray for her and our newly budding relationship! :)

After such a frustrating week at work, Friday finally yielded an afternoon of purpose and vision. One of my coworkers came to me with a personal problem and we spent a good two hours talking about it and about work in general. It was a great chance to get to know her better and to speak into her about respecting herself as a person, as well as respecting others. It was a really groundbreaking time and as we parted ways she thanked me sincerely for allowing her to confide in me. I walked away almost soaring. I love getting to know people on a deeper level, and she's definitely become someone who is dear to my heart.

Backtracking a bit further, Thursday night was also fairly intense and exciting. My roommate Nicki breathlessly ran up to me and quickly explained that a close friend of hers who has been struggling with a drug addiction has finally reached the breaking point and is seriously searching for God and wanting to learn more about him and how she can turn her life around. Amazing news, and so close to my heart that I was happy for her, just to know where she could head potentially. If you could pray hard for Kendra and her search for God and renewal, I would appreciate it so much. Satan attempts to ensnare us in so many horrible ways... to find yourself entangled to the point of being trapped is the worst and best place to be... worst because you seem to have run out of energy and options, but best because God is good and forgiving, and would love nothing more than to save us from such traps... It gave me a shiver to think of what amazing love she's on the brink of discovering.

Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we're meeting with West End Baptist Church to solidify plans to partner our citywide ministry with their outreach programs. God totally planned this... after the sunday morning service on outreach and sharing the gospel, we couldn't believe how blessed we were to have our proposition set up. The pastor was just as excited as we were and we've already got a number of ideas that will hopefully grow and take shape for the remainder of the project. Doubly exciting for myself is the chance through August to continue to partner with the church and get more involved in the community. It's going to be heartbreaking to go back to Toronto and school, but I'm also excited for the opportunities that await me there.

I appreciate your comments and prayers, as always!

I think I wrote my previous post last... friday or saturday. Well, it's been quite a week since then, and I've come out a little worse for wear, but thoughtful.

I think I've mentioned before how getting to Halifax was a lesson in trusting God, but it wasn't the challenge I anticipated. Things seemed to fall into place fairly easily, as far as things go. If anything stressed me out, I've long since forgotten about the grief caused, which is more than some people here can say. I'm thankful for the faithfulness of God, to be sure.

But after getting through all of that, I knew I was just being geared for a bigger challenge, and I realized, once I started, that work was likely to be it. I don't want to be too 'revealing' here, but I do want to give you all a little peek at what's going on, to keep you in the loop and to keep the lines open for prayer.

On Monday I got talking with one of my coworkers about hanging out after work, which ended with us making plans to meet in the evening after her shift to watch Signal Hill play in the Lower Deck at work (the upside of working at a really large pub in Halifax). Ben and Katherine from project came with me and we all ended up having a great time, and got to know my coworker a little better. I really do want to get to know at least one or two of my coworkers fairly well before the end of the summer, but seeing as most of them are male, there are obstacles in that regard. Anyways, plans were made to go back to the pub for a second time on Tuesday, and this time around we met more of my coworkers and got to know them a little better. It's nice to have a group of my fellow teammates to help with conversations, and I think there's a lot of value in showing my coworkers that we're pretty normal people, with one or two exceptions. My not drinking was a big deal to pretty much everyone there who wasn't on project, as we were in a pub. But it lead to some talk of church and faith, and gave me a little more to work with, as such. The night was very draining though. We started upstairs in the 'Beer Market' (the middle floor of the restaurant) and ended up watching the band downstairs in the Lower Deck. It was more crowded than the night before and people were a bit rowdier. I stuck close to our guys because of the very pointed leers of a particularly drunk businessman (the downside of visiting a really large pub in Halifax), and it reminded me of the need to be conscious of our surroundings and of the people I bring into my workplace. I'm more used to that kind of setting, but I know many people here haven't every been in that kind of environment where people just give themselves over to their desires, basically, be it food or drink or lust. What was upsetting for me personally though was seeing some of my coworkers, who felt either lonliness or some kind of lust, or whatever, start to cozy up to one another, in particular the girl I had met with the night before. It reminded me a lot of the emptiness I used to feel and the way I tried to fill it up with exactly those pursuits, and just how hurt and empty it made me feel afterwards. I didn't want to judge, because I'd been in her place before, but I wish I could have just yelled at her right then and there that she could find fulfillment in much better ways... It's the same with many of my coworkers. Seeing them pour their energy into empty pursuits is draining to watch, and I'm also faced with a bit of a stigma, or the fact that I'm a novelty, because I'm one of the only practicing Christians in the building. I did learn today that one of the other new hires is actually also a Christian, and is in a Christian band! Unexpected suprise much? Anyways, things at work are rough. Added to that is the problem created by project itself versus work - that project time and prime time in the restaurant industry both happen to be the evening and weekends. My boss is starting to look at my name at the schedule and wonder why he hired me again. It's a frustrating situation, because I am personally very committed to working with these people and ministering to them (one of the reasons I came on project), but project itself is sort of defeating the cause. I'm learning a lot, and I can already see growth and positive change in myself, but I feel like I am literally being torn in two.

Anyways, I don't want to drive too far down that path. Things are being set in motion that will hopefully give everyone a bit more peace in this area. I've had to scale back my social time with teammates in order to maintain my internal sanity, which is in part why I was able to write an entry tonight. To go from living with just yourself plus family to living very closely with 29 other people is an intense shift, and I'm starting to realize the value in solid quiet time, and actually using the quiet moments to be with God or my thoughts, and not just zone out. There's been a lot of spiritual battles fought in the past few days, and I guess I'm not liking that I'm finding myself currently embroiled in one. God's been showing me a lot about real love, and not the man-woman kind, but the G0d-human or human-human kind. That things aren't always rosey and nice, but we're still called to serve and love all the same. This city is easy to love on the nice sunny days, or when the people are fun and friendly, but can you actually say you love the city when it's cold and rainy, and people seem to ignore you or be caught up or busy? What about people themselves? Do you love someone only when they're happy or when they're healthy... or as I started to realize today, when they're hurting? How can you love someone when their life is totally normal and nothing seems to be going on?

I made an interesting observation today. During prayer, I had a minor breakdown, thanks to the lack of private time to just sit down and cry. So I had a few people come over to me in the middle of prayer and eagerly tell me nice things and such. I appreciate them and truly believe that they spoke with good intentions, but it felt like almost a pounce, that people eagerly stepped in to comfort... without understanding why they were comforting. It made me realize something. At that moment, yes, I was feeling pretty sore inside (or else I wouldn't have needed to cry!), but there wasn't anything WRONG with me, per se, no hurt that needed anything but God... actually, the only thing I could say that was wrong was that I'd been so busy in the past few days that I had been holding my breath spiritually, and had started to suffocate. But rather than letting me explain further, or just be, people felt the need to pour on praise or encouragement. I guess what I'm getting at is, it felt a little fake or contrived, and it gave me vision as to how I don't want to be with the people I meet here or with my coworkers. I want to be real. Really real, and get to know people in a really real way. Just as God is really real, and not some hocus pocus make-believe to me, something that I dreamed up one day. God is a really real part of my life, and he's made a huge impact. I didn't really realize until today what I meant when I said in the past I want to be 'real' with people, but I realized in part what that would look like today. I hope that all made sense, I'm still working through in my head what this all means. I don't want to show up at work on Aug. 2 (the day after project ends) and suddenly revert to the 'normal, non-project Erin', thus voiding the Erin that everyone got to know over the summer previously. I've been praying it over, and I'd appreciate if some of you would also lift this up in prayer (apart from the other huge things that are contained in this post), the idea of giving up drinking almost totally. It's kind of a shock to me, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a really good choice for me and for people around me. My pride wants to make me think that I can have just one or two and be 'okay' but past experience in recent months has taught me otherwise. It also depends on the company I've got with me. Drinking with 'carnal' Chrisitans or non-Christians and drinking with Christians who are solid in their faith and are walking with God have provided two totally different experiences, and the latter is pretty much normal to the point of positive as far as drinking experiences go. So I don't want to be legalistic and say no drinking ever, and then miss out on enjoying a drink or two with good people. I guess I'm processing what my boundaries are going to be, and it's kind of neat to be honest. I went through the same thing when I thought about dating again, and it revealed a lot about how I've changed and grown in my commitment to God. But that's another entry enitrely.

Whew, so sorry this was a long one, I hope that I made some semblance of sense through the whole thing. I just wanted to get an update up.

Oh sheesh, and I haven't even talked about PROJECT stuff. I'm on the city-wide Movement Development Area team (MDA team, for short), which means we're going to be focusing our efforts less on students per se, and more on the general population of Halifax. This Saturday we're hitting the streets for some random evangelism and then hopefully going door to door with quick surveys to get an idea of the spiritual 'climate' of the city. I'm pretty excited. We haven't really gone sharing since the first week here, and while I want to share at work, I want to get to know my coworkers better, so as not just to preach at them but to work with them etc. There's a different level of connection with random evangelism and surveys, and people are actually a lot more candid when you don't know them. So if you could lift up the team in your prayers on friday night or saturday, that'd be great!

Okay, for real, I'm out for the night. Hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent, as I try to spend more quality time here at home.

Peace.

(I got halfway through writing this thought, was interrupted and saved the entry to finish and post at a later date. Here is as far as I got... a new update will be up soon.)

Thanks to those of you who have been writing comments and emails - knowing people at home are thinking of me/us and praying for me/us is really encouraging. Life in the Halibubble (Halifax bubble!) is going well. The honeymoon phase is starting wear off, as we all knew it inevitably would, but there are a lot of really solid people here and so most conflicts seem to be resolved fairly quickly. If you could keep the unity of the team and personality clashes in your prayers though, I know that would be appreciated by everyone here.

Since starting work, I've been thinking a lot about God and what it means to be here, how I got here, and what the rest of this summer is going to look like. When I was in Scotland and realized that I had to go to Halifax, I didn't really ask questions (which was totally the opposite from when I realized that I had to go to Scotland... live and learn!). I applied, prayed (prayed a lot) and waited. When I was accepted, I admit that I expected to get all of my support in immediately, thinking I was an 'old pro' at raising support. Duh, God's doing the real raising, and of course he wants to challenge me in my faith. And God provided (and them some), and I did grow in faith. Even getting a job, which required due effort on my part, was relatively 'easy', all thanks going to God. As we prepared to leave for Halifax, I couldn't help but wonder how I got off so easy. My little 'push' came to a lot of 'shove' in most of the situations I encountered. God is a great provider, for sure, and all he requires is faith. Thinking about it a bit more though, and as I mentioned earlier, I wondered what that meant for the rest of my summer, how work would actually be and what would it be like to spend 3 months living in the Halibubble. I realized that God hadn't made things 'easy' for me, but had been preparing me and my stubborn heart, just as I'd been praying. My biggest challenge wasn't going to be getting here, it was going to be being here. Breaking new ground in a new workplace with a much rougher set of coworkers, being in an environment that I admit presents a huge temptation on many levels - many of my coworkers are my age or slightly older and male, and conversations frequently circle around drinking, sex, and other worldly things. My challenge is to love these people where they're at. To not not act above them (ie look down upon them) or drop to their level, but meet them where they're at. Frightening, if you're me, who is most of the time 'loveably awkward' in conversation, or quietly focused. The only one I can rely on is God, and I'm seeing that more and more. I love God so much, and I'm so thankful for the person he's forming me into.

I got a chance to share my testimony with a few of my teammates last night, which was a bit shocking for one of them considering the 'graphic' nature of some parts. I'm a very honest person, I'll say that much. It was so encouraging for all of us though, especially (and oddly enough), me. I haven't given my full testimony in a while, and as I did give it, I had much clearer picture of God and my own womanhood. It was exhilerating. I 'celebrated' 9 months of walking with God last Sunday, a number whose significance isn't lost on me.

I'm a little sad that I didn't continue on with my last thought, but I've sort of forgotten where I was going with that. 9 months seems significant I suppose in that it takes 9 months for a human child to come to full term and then is born into the world. I know we are reborn as children of God in an instant, really. Within a breath or two your whole life can change. Thinking further on the analogy, if you think about the way we recreate, I think we can see into God's mind a bit deeper. In a few breathless moments, a child can be conceived, but it takes time for that child to go from conception to birth, and from birth into a full grown human. Our spiritual growth seem to trend in a similar way. Milk, then solid food (in reference to 1 Corinthians, haha - anyone here in the Halibubble reading this blog will get it, and for the rest of you, it's what we're studying currently) . Anyways, that's all I can conclude about that thought... I'll get into more recent news in a new post.

It's a beautiful, sunny day here in Halifax. Not at all cold and dreary. The temperature for today is supposed to be around 28 degrees, which is AWESOME. Hopefully once I'm done my chores I'll have a chance to get out and enjoy some of it. I would be going out with the others and helping them hunt for jobs, but my feet have a few really nasty blisters on them from all of our walking, and I work tomorrow, so I'm giving them a bit of a break.

Speaking of work, for those who don't know, I got a job last week at the Lower Deck as a line cook. Not totally glamorous, but a totally interesting place to work. They seat about 500 people a DAY, so it's a big leap from what I"m used to at the Tea Room. Easily the busiest restaurant in Halifax... pray for my sanity, haha! Seriously though, I was warned that as a Christian I might find myself uncomfortable there. I trust that it's the right place for me to be, but I'd appreciate prayers of protection and endurance.

Being in Halifax means a weird mix of feelings. On the one hand, it's a new city and I don't know my way around as well as I'd like to, I don't know the best places to go for this or that, etc. But on the other hand, it feels a lot like Sarnia, so I feel right at home. I like Halifax a lot, and I wouldn't mind living here. It's definitely a place I could see myself putting down roots as well as planting seeds in (take that however you'd like to take it, hahaha). Spiritually, it's a very open place...

OH! I just realized how long it's been since I shared with you all. We went out sharing faith for the first time on tuesday night. My partner Ben and I met with 3 different people - please pray for Kaitlin (sp?) who is Catholic and interested in coming to our weekly meetings, Jill who is very interested in learning more about Christianity, and Rodrigo and Bethany, who we met at the end of the evening and ended up hanging out with at Rodrigo's soccer game where we met some of Bethany's friends. Whew. It was a really exciting night for Ben and I, as the people we met were very friendly and open to hearing the Gospel/about God. This city is unique from other Canadian cities like Toronto, or Hamilton (yes I realize there are other cities other than those two..) in that people are actually willing to talk to strangers, and get to be friends with them. Polar opposite from the culture in Scotland actually. At the end of the evening, we had 2 people pray to recieve Christ and they will be 'followed up' throughout the summer! Their names are Denise and Vivy, please pray for our new sisters!

It's amazing how quickly we settled into being a team. We're already sharing living spaces, cutlery, advice, recipes, encouragement... it's like we've known everyone forever, but still have lots to learn. I love my roommates, and we get along great so far. Sure there are little conflicts, but we're all pretty mature (me and my bubbles being the possible exception ;o)) so they're easily overcome. God's really put something amazing together for this summer. I'm so very, very excited.

Olga and I had a really interesting experience last night. There is a small group of German university students studying here at St. Mary's for the summer, and Olga met one of them (Sylvia) in the elevator of our building the other day. Last night, the three of us, plus two other guys from their team, Mirco and Roland (don't forget to rrrroll that R!) went out for "drinks" (virgin caesars for Olga and I... blech!!) and talked about all kinds of cultural differences and what we're studying. It was amusing, to say the least. Their English is very good, so it wasn't hard to communicate. It turns out that Sylvia is a Christian too, but we're not sure about the guys. We enjoyed hanging out and talking and they all want to hang out with us again, so I'm excited for that. It's good to get out and meet people and make connections, rather than staying around in my own 'Christian bubble'. My first challenge was actually declining to drink alcohol last night. Going out for drinks for me usually involves actually drinking alcohol, but I didn't this time. I can't say that awful caesar was a great reward, but it did speak about who Olga and I are as people.

There's lots I could write about, but I think that's enough for now... I'll include some contact information for you all, because I LOVE getting things. Definitely do not hesitate to send me your mailing address, as postcards and letters are just as fun to write as they are to receive!

Erin MacMillan
Apt. #704 Rice Residence
Saint Mary's University
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
B3H 3C3

(902) 491-8668 ext. 3186 (I cannot make outgoing long distance calls from this number, but I can definitely receive incoming ones!)

outside-the-lines(at)hotmail(dot)com (you know what to do with those words in the brackets!)

Blessings!

Erin

Hey folks! Wow, what to say first... I'm here with my suitemates, chatting with them about how I don't even know where to begin this post. These past three days alone have been a big adventure. Through it all, I've really been realizing how God really works in the most average and everyday situations. Part of the attraction of taking the bus to Halifax was the great amount of trust we had to put in God to see everything through. In case you didn't know, Olga and I only had our bus tickets bought up to Montreal... beyond that, we weren't sure if we could catch our later connections. But, God is so good, and we had beautiful weather and no major hassles the whole way there. Minor things like a lack of sleep on the overnight ride meant a long sleepy day through New Brunswick, but we arrived safe and sound on Thursday night.

What can I tell you about Halifax? It's hilly. Everything slopes down towards the harbor, so you're either walking uphill, or downhill most of the time. The houses are much more unique here than they are back home, and it's a bit colder. I have to say, I love it here. There's something about this city...

Today was a great day though. I spent my morning applying for jobs aaaand... I'm now a line cook at the Lower Deck pub! Pretty sweet, and definitely praise-worthy event. I'll update you on how that goes. Anyways, I'm keeping the roomies up, so I'll shut down for the night.

Cheers, and God bless everyone!

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

Well folks, this is pretty much it. In about 4 hours I'll be up and closing one chapter of this year, and opening another one. Amazing. It's finally here. I'm sorry I haven't begun 'my story' yet. These past two days have been a lot of running around and organizing, and reorganizing. You will be utterly amazed at how much you can fit into 2 suitcases and a carry-on these days. So much for 'packing light'...

I have to say, today was totally crazy. Nothing I expected, that's for sure. I ended up running all my last minute errands with Tricia, and that involved printing off her letter for her STINT in Panama! Glad I could be involved. :) By the end of the afternoon, I had my last chunk of support sent to head office, done the letters, bought a cute skirt and two new tops, socks, and a TEAPOT. And I copied some of the best recipes out of the binders from work. So we're eatin' well this summer! I can't wait!

As I was heading out for my last run, I managed to see a very good friend (the best) on the way, and we ended up catching up this evening. Unexpected, but really good. I've missed her! I had what I think will be my last drink of the summer before heading home to wrap up some last minute details.

This is really happening. Tomorrow morning, Olga and I will board a bus and zoom off for the summer. God was amazingly faithful in bringing in all of my support on time, the people he's surrounded me with... every corner I turned today I couldn't help but feel totally blessed. I'm expecting big things this summer. Pray big everyone. :)

Speaking of prayer, if you're reading this and feel called to, please pray for our travels tomorrow and Thursday. We've got some awkward late night layovers and spots where we're stepping out in faith concerning purchasing tickets. Also, pray for our general safety. I've got no reason to believe things will be anything but ordinary, but you've all heard crazy travel stories before. I'm down with meeting interesting people - that's part of the adventure! But I'd like to stay safe in the long run!

Before I wrap this up and grab a few hours of sleep, I have to share a fun fact: In organizing myself for a massive resume drop-off on Friday morning, I was looking up the addresses for all of the restaurants I'm applying to. I grinned when I saw where the Comfy Corner Cafe is located. After all these years of being a Trews fan, I'm actually going to stand on the corner of Hollis and Morris Street.

Standing on the corner of Hollis
and Morris street
Where the evil other half do meet
Won't you send me a saint from
grace, round here there's none
to be had

Hmm. I haven't really listened to these lyrics in a while. They've got interesting new meaning now...

...See you all this weekend!