Much to say

Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've been able to sit down and share with you about life here in Halifax, but I assure you I'm alive and getting better by the day.

Since I last wrote, we've done outreaches and gone camping, seen the staff leave, and I got a sinus infection that was healed quite miraculously overnight. God's been amazing, that's for sure. Life in Halifax grows more challenging by the day - not because things are getting any more difficult necessarily, but because things are getting comfortable. Now that we're not all out of our element and getting to know each other and the city, it's easier to slack off a little, to leave those dishes till later, or it's less important to go explore the city and meet new people. It's never good to get into ruts. The staff left us on tuesday - we had a final barbeque to send them off right, and I think that's done well to jolt us all a little into realizing how much initiative we need to take in our daily lives here. We've all been assigned to a different ministry, partly based on our requests, and partly based upon what the staff have been observing. I was placed on the memory book team, which is in charge of making everyone a small token of some kind (typically in the form of a book) to take home with them and remember project by. To be honest, even though I put it near the top of my choices for ministry, I was a little disappointed that I didn't get assigned somewhere else. I spend all year in design, and for someone who plans on entering into that career field, I'm actually not that excited about being identified as a designer. Strange, but true. So it was at first a frustration, and even more so when I found out how small our budget was, and, well... I'll be honest. I got upset. Not angry upset, but teary upset. I'm not sure why, but I think in part it was because I was realizing I was being prideful, and being selfish, just as much as I was wanting to bring forth a really cool memory item. It's a breaking moment when you realize you're being petty or foolish in the eyes of God over something so small.

And that's in part what I'm learning about on project - there are lots of little (and sometimes big) areas in my life that I'm really proud in. And not the good kind of pride. I mean, there's the "I know I worked hard and did a good job at this, and I'm pleased with myself", but there's also "No one can do this but me, NO ONE. Not even God", or "I'm great because ____". Or there's just placing oneself on a pedestal. I'm guilty of that one, that's for sure. I've really been convicted over the past few weeks that I really, really can't do anything without God's strength and wisdom guiding me. I mean, you can limp along all right without him - I did for nearly 21 years - but it's exhausting and unfulfilling, to say the very least. And being here on project, being brought here by God himself, and then being so busy with project itself to take time for God, I've noticed something. As exhausting as life before a relationship with God was, when you walk with the Spirit and yet don't take time for God, or more specifically allow him to lead you on his strength into something as engaging and demanding as project, and then basically refuse to drink deeply of him, it's even more exhausting. God really does give us all strength to do things we couldn't even dream of doing.

I've been thinking a lot about why I'm here. Not just why I'm on Halifax project, but why I'm even here on earth at all. Why and how I ended up in Halifax can be traced all the way back to last summer when I thought my life was about to end. If my boyfriend at the time hadn't decided to choose God over me, I might not be here today. That sounds funny, doesn't it? But it's true. Christ saved my life, and I felt so immediately thankful that I knew I had to tell others. And here I am today. I couldn't have even imagined last summer that I would be sitting in this apartment in Rice Residence, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, talking to you today about God's greatness and his providence, and above all else, his love. Had you asked me last June what I thought I would be doing, I probably would have said, "Moving in with my boyfriend and finishing my degree." It sounds typical, to most people, but had that come true, I would likely be a slave to sin still.

If this seems at all too much, don't worry - I'm trying to keep up myself. I've had a lot of chances to really sit down and converse with God over the last week - especially on the retreat at Kejimkujik (kah-jih-mh-koo-jik) National Park last weekend. For one glorious hour, sprawled on a blanket in the sun, in the middle of the Nova Scotian wilderness, I had solid talk with God over areas of my life that have not been left open to him. It's been hard since to hand over control, and realizing even more that I daily have to put my life, my job, my studies, everything into the hands of God has been very stretching. While project can be very exhausting at time, letting God be the pilot and being excited for real about what he's going to do, not what I'm going to do, has been a great joy.

Before I bring this to a close, I just want to make a few prayer requests. In relation to project, if you could pray right now (even as you read this!) that the remaining 10 or so people here who are seeking jobs would find them, that would be appreciated. Also pray for my safety at work, as I've burned and cut myself at least once so far in the past week, and pray for spiritual conversations...not just mentioning God in passing, but really expressing the love of the Lord for us and doing so in a meaningful way with my coworkers. Please pray specifically for one of my guy coworkers I will simply call J. He's had a rough life and has really turned over a new leaf. My heart goes out to him for all he's been through, and I see great potential in him. Pray for his salvation, and for God to just heal his heart and mind. Team unity would be a great thing to pray for as well. We're starting to really see the purpose in taking quiet time and making our time together meaningful and not 'surface', and I'm praying that we keep growing strong as a group, and that we do take time to reconnect with God on a daily basis.

Thank you all so much for your words of support and encouragement. I never noticed until someone pointed it out to me, but the word en-courage literally means 'to give courage'. When you encourage someone, it's giving them strength - firming up that core inside of them that drives them forward. I've definitely felt encouraged this past week.

That's all for now, folks. God bless, and have a great weekend!